i just want this school year to end. 

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di biro ang habulin ng german shepherd 

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To: Miss Anonymous


Today, I just recieved a message from my bestfriend, Anne. (@professionalfannegirl) Actually, its a screenshot of a post in her Tumblr acc.

Kung sino ka mang naggugulo kay Anne at talagang hinahanap mo pa talaga ang blog niya, well FUCK YOU. Alam kong I just know a little about her…

this is why we’re bestfriends. this is why i love you so fucking much 

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my birthday is in six days. 

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thank you for ruining my life aka my tumblr account 

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Nobody cares about your opinion

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Anonymous: Aral muna bago landi neng. Hindi tinuturo yan sa theresian. Ke bata bata ang landi.

this is my blog. this is not yours. lahat ng gusto kong ipost dito ipopost ko. wala sanang pakielamanan okay?

do you see me flirting with random guys? well no. you will never see me flirting with random guys. just because i post things that I can’t personally voice out, that doesn’t mean na malandi na ako. sometimes you just gotta write it all down just to get it off your chest so you can breath easily again. 

i don’t really know kung paano mo nahana tong blog ko. and i hate you for finding my blog. you’re not suppose to find it. ang sa akin lang, wala ka nang pake okay? kasi i’m sure na di naman kita pinapakielaman eh. 

you’re so judgmental. judging people without knowing their story firsts. and thanks to you, I just deleted the most important tumblr entries in my life. saka mag sasabi ka na lang sa akin ng ganyan, anonymous pa. pwede mo namang sabihin na staright to the point. 

"Mahal kasi kita kaya bahala na"

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His smile,

His voice,

His laugh,

And all of the little things that he do managed to make my day. Every single day, I crave for his presence. I crave for his presence beside me.  The way he smiles at me makes my heart skip a beat. His laugh is just so cute and I just love to hear his voice and I don’t even know why.

Sometimes, we just love someone so much that even the realty won’t even make us change our mind. We just love a person so much that we’ll build up our own fairy-tale and ignore the truth even though it’s hitting us across the eye. 

I will never forget the very first time that he chatted me on facebook. It was quite weird because we’re not that ‘close’ he even asked me if I really like him. I didn’t answered you with a specific answer. I was too shy to say “yes” and I was also afraid that if I say “yes” he’ll avoid me, so I answered him with a “maybe” but he was not satisfied with that answer so he kept on repeating the question all over again. And the next day, I told him “yes, I like you” and that was the start of everything  we had. That was the start of ‘us’

I will never forget the way he held my hand, walking in the hallway, not minding who will see us. I didn’t feel butterflies in my stomach when he held my hand or when I’m with him. I felt the whole zoo whenever that I’m with him.

I will never forget the sweet messages and the sweet things that he do, thinking that I was so lucky to have him. Even the little things that he does brighten my day whenever I’m a bit gloomy.  He never failed to turn my frown upside down when he talks to me.

I will never forget how he defended me over the girl who was head over heels for him.

I will never forget our long night conversations.

I will never forget that he hugged me in the hallway because some girls we’re making up stories about me because they like him.

I will never forget the night that he told me that he loves me.

I easily fell for him and I don’t even know why.  I really do love him.  I feel like I’m the happiest girl in the world when he’s with me. The day when he confessed that he also likes me, I felt like I won the lottery.  Those scenes kept on replaying on my mind until now. And as of this moment, my heart is aching.

When I thought that we had a chance, you suddenly drifted away from me. We stopped taking to each other without a reason. I still clearly remembered when my friend told me that you don’t like me anymore, I was preventing myself to not cry in front of my friends.

He was the one who made me feel like it’s forever, then all of a sudden, we just had to be friends. But then again, he’s so sweet to me. Until now.  Every single day, I’m wishing for him to talk to me. I’m wishing that he’ll hold my hand again. I’m stuck between doing the first move and on just sitting on the same spot and talking to my friends until the classes ends.

I caught you staring at me everyday, for a couple of times it’s because I do look at him too. And when our eyes met. He’ll smile at me and I’ll just quickly look away. I think that we’re on this never ending roller coaster ride.

I can’t lie and say that I don’t love him anymore.

I still miss him. I miss everything about me and him. Even though we’re not together, and we never did, I’m still moving on from a person who never became my boyfriend.

Moving on is not a one day event. Moving on from someone whom you love so much is not easy.  Even though I told my friends that I’m over him, I’m really not.

And as of this moment, the world will keep on rotating and revolving and as of this moment, I want to let go but I realized that I still can’t

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May mga instances talaga na hanggang friends lang. Yung tipong, mafe-friendzoned ka na lang ng paulit-ulit. Pero patuloy ka pa ding umaasa kasi yung mga pinapakita niya sayo ay para bang may gusto din siya sayo. 

Di din kita masisisi kung di mo ako masusuklian yung pagmamahal ko sayo. I can’t beg you to love me. Ikaw yung bumubuo at sumisira sa araw ko. Alam mo naman siguro na may gusto ako sayo di ba? Kung ayaw mo talaga sa akin, eh di dapat di ba lumalayo ka? Eh bat ganun ka? Ikaw pa yung unang nagcha-chat, ikaw pa yung unang lumalapit. Ang gulo lang kasi. I just want you to make up your mind. Ako kasi yung nahihirapan eh. 

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